Celebrate we will Because life is short but sweet for certain

It may have been last nights King Prawn Bhuna making itself known but todays run was a dead leg hobble with muscles as tired and unresponsive as wet sandbags. As I rasped around in the mud I was trying to distract myself by reflecting on the year past both in life terms and running as well. Normally at this time of the year I do a bit of a précis of the year highlighting what was memorable and looking ahead to the coming year but I've decided not to although it's been a superb years running apart from the injuries towards the fag end.

I have a son, eleven, who lives life filled to the brim. I've had to adjust to this because I like order and his approach brings chaos, he does everything at full throttle including the mundane like filling his cereal bowl or mug to overflowing. I'm always picking up cereal bits from the floor or the sofas. Put simply he extracts joyful living out of every situation.

I'm never going to be like this, my personality is far to straitjacketed but I'd like to learn from him.

I've decided that if I'm not moving then I'm just sitting around waiting to die. I don't mean this to be literal but more of a philosophical  idea - we need purpose and action to fill our lives with meaning. We need love too. One of my very favourite songs (one I'd like at my funeral) is by the Dave Matthews Band, it's called Two Step, a happy exhortation to live while we can and celebrate. Dave sings: "Celebrate we will
Because life is short but
sweet for certain
We''re climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
The things we cannot"
I know a man who spends his life in his kitchen watching television and coughing up a lifetime of cigarettes and booze. He is a stoic waiting to die in the company of an old portable black and white TV.
My best run this year was in the midst of a thunderstorm with the rain sounding like an express train in the treetops and lightning forking the cracking sky, I knew I shouldn't be out there, I was running against conventional wisdom that tells us to avoid trees during lightning storms but I went anyway, away from metaphorical kitchens and metaphorical tv's, and running, always running, from the metaphorical carcinogens seeking to choke the lungs of my spirit. I felt rebellious and a little afraid but the risk and the rain made me a celebrant.
Getting back to todays uninspiring trudge I've decided that there are no unimportant runs, they all have some sort of value, even the so called duds. They should all change us in some way, teach us something and liberate us. Every run is a legacy run.
This then is my goal going forward, not to forget the hard times but to celebrate this life short and sweet that it is.

Was this shadow a visual analogy of life

I made a strange decision to run at 21H30 last night. Feeling restless and a little on edge I opened my front door and felt the clarity of the night calling to me. Allowing myself to be seduced I impulsively thrust my feet into my Merrells and my body out under the full moon and wispy clouds like drifting artillery smoke. I ran on the cracked paving slabs from lamp post to lamp post, my shadow long and wavering in front of me, disappearing into darkness and then reappearing on my shoulder, older, wiser and more anchored, repeating the pattern again and again like an Andy Warhol animation. Was this shadow a visual analogy of life, rushing ahead, youthful and unsure, disappearing into darkness and re emerging diminished but more defined? I lost my way too, becoming disorientated on a side road I've never been down and finding myself running in the wrong direction and away from home, a prodigal son. It's not the first time that's happened to me but what was a first, and ridiculous, is that I found myself standing on the roadside feeling lost and confused, an amnesiac moment in an area I know well, truth is I'm still a bit bewildered today at how jumbled my thoughts were for those few seconds and how adrift I felt. Afraid too, not because I was momentarily lost but because of the refusal of my brain to work and the sense of isolation and foolishness that gave me. It was a lonely place.

It's saying I may fail but win or lose I will be better for having tried.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost.

Last week as I entered the school gates I became aware of a presence on my shoulder and turning to my right I saw Guy our PE teacher ghosting along on his bicycle. Guy is a man driven by passion and a hugely infectious enthusiasm for life and education, his brain never stops, endlessly delivering ideas and exploring concepts and his mouth follows, he loves to talk and share and he will talk and share with whoever crosses his path. He is pretty much a Tasmanian Devil on speed. It so happened that it was a beautiful morning, bright, clear and mild and I had relished my walk in to work. As it turned out, Guy had decided on an ad hoc route to work that had taken him through the woods for the first time - and it unleashed a torrent of words as he attempted to describe what he had felt, thought and experienced. We share an identical and maverick educational philosophy that believes that children and young people learn and grow when they are allowed to play and think for themselves rather than be confined to a rigid curriculum and tested to death. Guy was excited that he had chosen to go off piste and he had new discoveries and feelings. He was stimulated by risk and adventure and happy it had affirmed his educational beliefs. He was motivated to try it again.
This of course is the attraction and joy of trail running for me, the chance to take the unmarked and untrodden path and throw out the plan. It's the gift of choice. I can think of umpteen times Jerry and I have come across a wild bit of trail or wondered where a path leads and decided to follow it to find out. We've had some epic runs and discoveries and it's enhanced our running elevating it to something magical and full of value.
Thankfully my path has crossed Guy's a lot over the last few days and we've had other discussions, war and politics (I happened to be listening to The Black Eyed Peas Duncan, Where is the Love and I wondered, where is the love?) to how to change the world and the impact of greeting and smiling at strangers. We've discussed the idea of risk leading to gain (several times) and how F is the new A*.
Yesterday Guy encountered me by the fish tank in the foyer and started quoting Robert Frost's poem The Road Less Taken and what we could learn from it. Running in to work this morning I began to mull over the concept behind the poem, being short on fitness I was beginning to tire and I realised that I could choose to take a path that would cut short my run. It was then that I had the revelation that to continue and run the full distance was a form of taking the road less travelled and that the temptation to take the short cut was the easy way out. I realised that I would learn more by stretching myself a bit and getting into a place of discomfort, that when we pay the price we benefit more. This then is the road less taken, a road of risk, discomfort but ultimate reward. It's saying I may fail but win or lose I will be better for having tried. It's making a choice.

 Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity

That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive 'til love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father, help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity

That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive 'til love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?

(Black Eyed Peas)