Was this shadow a visual analogy of life

  • Thursday, December 24, 2015
  • 0
I made a strange decision to run at 21H30 last night. Feeling restless and a little on edge I opened my front door and felt the clarity of the night calling to me. Allowing myself to be seduced I impulsively thrust my feet into my Merrells and my body out under the full moon and wispy clouds like drifting artillery smoke. I ran on the cracked paving slabs from lamp post to lamp post, my shadow long and wavering in front of me, disappearing into darkness and then reappearing on my shoulder, older, wiser and more anchored, repeating the pattern again and again like an Andy Warhol animation. Was this shadow a visual analogy of life, rushing ahead, youthful and unsure, disappearing into darkness and re emerging diminished but more defined? I lost my way too, becoming disorientated on a side road I've never been down and finding myself running in the wrong direction and away from home, a prodigal son. It's not the first time that's happened to me but what was a first, and ridiculous, is that I found myself standing on the roadside feeling lost and confused, an amnesiac moment in an area I know well, truth is I'm still a bit bewildered today at how jumbled my thoughts were for those few seconds and how adrift I felt. Afraid too, not because I was momentarily lost but because of the refusal of my brain to work and the sense of isolation and foolishness that gave me. It was a lonely place.

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