The race was a mixture of exhilarating yahoo running and grunt grinding

  • Wednesday, June 15, 2016
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Saturday was a slobby armchair sports day. One of those days where you don't change out of your PJ's and you turn a blind eye to your kids pinballing off the lounge furniture. It started early with the All Blacks v Wales Rugby on a shaky, buffering Now TV day pass via the Xbox and Virgin Broadband. This is Sky Sports on the cheap as I can't bring myself to do the illegal stream thing. From there we moved through a marathon of sport, more Rugby with England v Australia, Cricket (England v Sri Lanka/ Australia v South Africa) and finished with Euro 2016 Football. We watched the latter whilst eating a Beef stir fry I whipped up with mushrooms and bean sprouts. I use the word eating advisedly, enduring would be more accurate as it was more reminiscent of gnarly African goat, tough, stringy and tasteless.
This was my way of preparing for the Orpington High Elms 10K, a hilly trail event organised by local club Orpington Road Runners. I know and love High Elms, it's 250 acres of undulating woodland bordered by the North Downs, I've run there often and it's the sort of terrain where it's necessary to be a gnarly African goat with the requisite streak of stubbornness thrown in.
For this jaunt I was #236, elegant in my threadbare Helly Hansen shirt but also wearing brand new shorts and once again I enjoyed a start line chat about my taped together Vibrams. I also had the joy of seeing an old friend, Michael, he of the rock star looks and wild locks. When the gun sounded the pack ran down the field, towards the nearby cafe and tangled up the first climb together before I settled my breathing, got my mind into the zone and found some space.
From this point the race was a mixture of exhilarating yahoo running and grunt grinding up some pretty bastard hills. Anyone who knows me well knows that I love this sort of running, plenty of twisty turns, rocks, roots and the odd gate thrown in. Mostly we were under trees on wide, stony trails but with the occasional foray into slippery grassy fields. It rained too, a steady and continuous drizzle which was particularly refreshing especially given that my watch showed an elevation gain of 668 feet during the race. Despite the climbs I was able to finish strong and fast before collecting my medal and falling into the bosom and acclaim from my wife and kids. I love these guys, they never fail me, never doubt me and happily turn out in the rain to be my cheerleaders. I owe them.
Thanks ORR, it was a great event, the marshals superb and the child's scribble of a route a proper challenge. I'm really looking forward to repeating this next year.

Collecting and propagating grass seeds in my hairy legs.

A flying finish, a poetic blur.


Medal, remnant of shoes, number.

Me in 2007, my first race and the only previous time I've run this event.
Some hair, no glasses and a Zulu bead necklace. Several thousand miles have passed since.

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