Shoe Goo, rubber patches, strips of plastic cut from a Milk carton and Stormsure adhesive

I'm writing this in my modest garden. I'm dressed as I would be in Africa, barefoot and in shorts. I should probably have a cold Chibuli next to me but I don't. There is a Cherry Blossom tree in the next garden and in it is an invisible bird. This is Summers first kiss, hot and hazy and full of promise, the breeze filled with erupting seed and clumsy butterflies. The last few weeks have been marked by chilly early morning runs, scampering through the woods with the Woodpeckers silent but the birdsong continuous and pure.
The Bluebells are out and riotous which is an obligatory mention for any self respecting trailrunner as well as Wild Garlic, wood anemones, ninja brambles and bastard Stinging Nettles. There must be a high pollen count too because I run with the sniffles, snorting like a cocaine addict desperate for their next fix.

My routine is continous and established apart from the occasional foray into other Woodland areas during holiday periods, workclothes folded into my bag, an early breakfast and a mug of Rooibos tea, grab a satellite signal and off I go in my extremly tatty Five Fingers.

The latter are becoming a cause for concern, I have to patch them with strips of Duct Tape before every run as they are literally falling apart. I've tried so many solutions to keep them going including Shoe Goo, rubber patches, strips of plastic cut from a Milk carton and Stormsure adhesive. I have a new pair on order but Vibram keep pushing the release date back frustrating me greatly. Which brings me to this:

What the hell is going on here? Looking for socks to run in this afternoon brought me to my knees. Five socks, all right foot and not a single complete pair. It must be the left foot sock thief. I have no rational explanation for this, the lefties have vanished into thin air. Gone.